1) WWW - There is some potential here ... it's a great question, the tests are appropriate and you have some good research in places. However, other aspects need a lot of work to move this into the higher grade. EBI - Written English is poor. Your quotes don't make sense - which means you lose your argument. Look at my comments on the first page. - You are not using quotes correctly. Your quotes on power need to be applied to the media - not the characters. You need much more media theory in general - why not add post-colonial theories such as Edward Said - Orientalism? - Your examples are generally description rather than analysis. Where is your textual analysis with media terminology? You need to analyse key scenes using film language - surely camerawork, mise-en-scene etc is crucial here? - Not enough on audience effects ... what impact do these representations have on audiences? Asian audiences? White audiences? Bring in contemporary events - e.g. Brexit etc. 2) In my second draft, I am aiming for at least an extra 9 marks which will get me onto at least 30 marks out of 48. 3)
Make my introduction more clearer in terms of my 'written English'. Also, make sure that I am more specific (Am I talking from a negative or positive point of view).
Improve my conclusion. State whether it made a positive or negative impact
BFI Library for more quotes
Look up for Edward Said quotes - reference it to 9/11
Delete the sentences where I described the actual movie (or minimize to 1 sentence.)
1) My linked production will be based around a teenage Indian girl. She is a typical teenage girl who has been bought up in England but has these traditional Indian parents who want to bring her up how they had been bought up in India. Her parents believe that she is this innocent, traditional girl who doesn't do anything 'westernised', but that's not how her friends see her. I will be creating the opening of a short drama film where the teenage girl has been harassed by her parents because they found out that she was doing something which would completely embarrass her family and ruin their reputation. It will firstly start off with the ending (teasing the audience) and then start from the beginning, e.g. "3 weeks later". I already feel very confident with this because I have already planned the costumes and the characters which I am going to use for this production. 2) Murdered by my Father
Opening sequence idea - started off with the ending then moved to how it all began.
Main protagonist - Teenage Indian Girl
Need a older male character to play the parent?
Location shooting - estates or a rough area to make the atmosphere and the feel of it dull and frightening (possibly?)
Scene from the movie When the main protagonist kissed another man on the cheek at her own engagement party to another man. And that man saw it happening...
Bend it like Beckham
The fact that the main protagonist is playing football
Football shouldn't be played by an Indian girl
This is how the argument can potentially start in the movie? If the main protagonist is playing football behind her parents backs and they eventually find out, this could be the reason why they start to torture her.
East is East
Main protagonist is going out with some who is of another race? In this movie,the Pakistani man married a white lady.
Old fashioned setting
Give a 1970's theme - (Mise en scene - the characters dress code etc).
3) My aim on when I would like to shoot this by is in the February Half term. This allows me to get every detailed shot done and if there is something which I believe isn't right and doesn't count towards a 'professional standard', then this will give me a lot of time to go back and do some more shooting. In addition, the editing process will still be the same, in terms of which as I am shooting the production and believe I have got enough clips, I will start to edit them and if that it's good enough, it will still give me a lot of time to improve on. Down below is the schedule of what I will be doing during the process of the production:
4) SCRIPT
1. INT. KITCHEN
SANDY
(Screaming)
Aaah! Please … I'm sorry!!!
SANDY SCREAMING AS SHE IS BEING BRUTALLY BEATEN UP BY HER FATHER. STRUGGLING TO FIND A WAY
OUT OF THE BEATING BY THERE IS NO
ESCAPE.
HASSAN
(Grinding his teeth)
GOODBYE Sandy!!!
HASSAN GRABS THE
METAL POLE FROM THE FLOOR AND USES IT
AS A WEAPON TO HIT SANDY IN THE HEAD WITH IT. ONCE
SHE STOPPED BREATHING, HASSAN GETS UP AND WALKS AWAY WITH NO REGRETS.
DURING THE DEATH SCENE, AFTER HASSAN SAID HIS
LAST WORDS, VOICEOVER SHOULD BE PLAYED HERE WITH LOCATION SHOOTING.
SANDY
Dear dad, I have wanted to
say this for a while now. Lately, you have been acting strange and I just
wanted to make sure if everything was okay. I know that we have had our up’s
and down’s but I just wanted to say sorry for all the stress I put you through.
I love you…
2. EXT. HALLWAY OF
THE HOUSE
HASSAN DRIVES HOME AFTER WORK
AND LOOKS STRESSED.
(Hassan grabs his keys and opens the door)
HASSAN
Hello everyone. I'm home!
SANDY
(COMING DOWN THE STAIRS WHILE TEXTING)
Hey Dad. How was work?
HASSAN
(SHAKES HIS HEAD)
Not good. My manager gave me so much work which
is most likely going to take the whole week.
Pause.
HASSAN THEN LOOKS
AT HER DAUGHTER IN A STRANGE WAY BECAUSE
SHE SEEMED TO BE REALLY HAPPY.
HASSAN (CONT'D)
What’s up with you today?
SANDY
Huh? Nothing … Why?
HASSAN
No … No… Just wondering
3. INT BEDROOM
SANDY THEN GOES
BACK UPSTAIRS AND INTO HER ROOM AND CLOSES
THE BEDROOM DOOR.
SANDY
(STARTS TO RING SOMEONE)
Hey, sorry. My dad came from work and
just went downstairs to say hi…
SANDY STARTS TO
LAUGH.
SANDY
So when should we meet up?
(Starts to think)
Tomorrow? Can't do tomorrow. My dad's going
to be at home all day and he wouldn't
let me out…
3a. DINNER
SANDY’S MUM IS MAKING DINNER AND IS ABOUT TO BE
SERVED.
MUM
Sandy, dinner is ready…
SANDY
Kay, one sec…
(ON THE PHONE)
SANDY (CONT’D)
Okay got to go now. Speak to
you later, Bye.
PHONE VIBRATES
A MESSAGE APPEARS ON SANDY’S PHONE. “YOU CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS. I WANT TO SEE
YOU”. SANDY PUTS HER PHONE ON SILENT.
HASSAN
Sandy, its family time. Put the
phone away.
SANDY
Sorry…
HASSAN
(While eating…)
So how was school?
5)
5 seconds
Shot No./Type of Shot/Camera
Movement
-Shot 13/14
-Medium Close Up
Dialogue – Sound
Main protagonist (male) looking exhausted, as he is opening the door
(coming back from work).
25 seconds
Shot No./Type of Shot/Camera
Movement
-Shot 15
-Shot/Reverse Shot
Dialogue – Sound
The two main protagonists are talking to each other after he had entered
the house.
Shot No./Type of Shot/Camera Movement
Dialogue - Sound
Shot No./Type of Shot/Camera Movement
Dialogue - Sound
Shot No./Type of Shot/Camera Movement
Dialogue - Sound
6)
7)
Teenage Indian Girl (Main Protagonist)
Older Indian Male: potentially someone who can play a role as an older brother (acting like a father figure).
Turban?
Rough clothes
Indian Saree (maybe?)
Hockey Stick / Metal Rod (Weapon for threatening the main protagonist)
